Why Modern Cartoons Suck

I've been collecting some older cartoons that are in the public domain, including some Warner Bros. and Disney stuff. I'm doing this because my son needs to understand that the stuff that is being spewed out of the Cartoon Network and other channels is pure and utter garbage. Seriously, it's vomit-inducing crap. There isn't a single redeeming feature about any of them. The art is abysmally bad, the 'jokes' are cringe-inducing nonsense, and the reliance on toilet humor makes them utterly unworthy of a moment's attention.

Now, I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, when Saturday Morning Cartoons were a ritual for all kids. We didn't have dedicated cartoon networks; we got what the Big Three networks deigned to offer us, and we lapped it up. But back then, the lack of stations meant that they were only going to put out quality material, or at least material that didn't totally suck. Today...yeah, we've seen what they do today.

I'll give a simple example. Here are two images of the same character. One is from the 1980s; the other is from the current incarnation of the character. I'll leave it up to you to guess which is which.

Anyone who grew up in the 1980s knows the Thundercats. They were sleek, cat-like superheroes who could handle themselves in a fight and who looked damn fine. I mean, look at Lion-O up top; that's a heroic figure. He looks competent, trained, and well-muscled. Compare that to the bottom image. That version of Lion-O wouldn't be a threat to anything more dangerous than a cheeseburger. The art is just atrocious, something that even I could draw. And I failed stick-people in second grade. Seriously, that is the worst possible look they could give him. He doesn't even have a nose! Or any definition on his limbs whatsoever! Who in God's name thought this was a good idea?

There are plenty of other examples, too. The Teen Titans Go! show is a mockery of beloved characters from my youth; Robin vacillates between pining for an oblivious Starfire and trying to out-bro the other two male characters, Beast Boy and Cyborg. And, of course, the art sucks. There's no definition, no style...it's just scribbling.

I realize that I'm ranting about something as unimportant as a children's TV show. But it's not that unimportant when so many kids are watching this stuff. After all, what we watch on TV has a powerful influence on us. And what the modern shows are doing is something profoundly dangerous: They are eliminating the concepts of nobility and heroism. Nobody is going to look up to the modern version of Lion-O, or Robin; they are jokes, designed to ridicule the concepts those characters used to embody. And it's leaving a huge gap in our society as kids who watch this stuff grow up to become adults. What will they emulate? The fart jokes and manic-depressive mood swings of Robin and his buddies? The shapeless and soulless emptiness of Lion-O?

So, I'm doing what I can to fix that. My kids will get to see heroes, and cartoons that are actually funny, sometimes in the same show. But my boys will not grow up unknowing of what man can aspire to at his best. And they won't grow up watching mindless garbage that not only insults their intelligence, but works hard to eliminate it.