My Top Ten Adventures: #9, B1 In Search of the Unknown

I'll preface this one by saying that if anyone is expecting to find the successor to this module, Keep on the Borderlands, on my list, you will be disappointed. I may be the only gamer on the planet who doesn't like that module, but that's okay. It's responsible for my least-favorite gaming memory, which I won't get into. Suffice it to say that in my opinion, this module was a much better introductory adventure for beginners than B2.

B1, In Search of the Unknown, is one of the earliest adventure modules ever published by TSR. Written by Mike Carr (his only D&D credit), it was included in later editions of the first Basic D&D Set (Holmes Basic, first published in 1977). It was designed as a way to introduce players and Dungeon Masters to the game in a way that gave the DM a certain amount of agency in setting up the encounters within the structure of the module. It was first published in late 1978, with a monochrome cover (the cover above is the new trade dress, first printed in 1981). By 1979, however, it had been replaced in the Basic set by the Keep on the Borderlands.

Modern gamers would have a tough time with this module; it's got absolutely no plot to it. It's just a couple of large maps of an abandoned adventurers' stronghold, originally built by the legendary adventurers Roghan and Zelligar, who disappeared years ago on some adventure. Now the characters have found a map leading to this abandoned place, where they can seek their fortune among the vast treasures that surely lie within.

And that's it. No one to rescue, no Mcguffin to find, nothing. It's just an exploratory adventure where you look for things to kill and take their stuff, the way D&D was meant to be. This hearkens back to the pulp adventures that inspired the game, where Conan or Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser would be seeking mysterious treasures. And while it's not the pulpiest adventure TSR produced, it certainly gave a clear idea of the style of game that was expected at the time. Sure, the DM could certainly put something in the complex that the characters need to find, but that's entirely on the DM, not something the module expects.

So, what made this such a great introduction to the game, and why do I wish I'd started with this instead of last night's adventure? Well, this one gives a lot of advice for DMs. Six pages of it, in fact, at the start of the module, and the text is dense. Subjects such as module preparation, time, experience points, effective DMing tactics, a legend table...it's all there, stuff to help a beginning DM get his feet underneath him before running a game for players. There's a bit of background, some of which can be related to the players as rumors and stories about the caverns of Quasqueton (pronounced KAS-ke-tawn by me). The maps are supposed to be fairly easy to map, although the caverns on the second level will be a pain.

At the back of the adventure is the player's section. It's just one page, back and front, so it can be removed from the module and passed to the players. It includes basic tips on game play, as well as background on the adventure that they would have heard about. Oh, and there are also a bunch of named characters for them to pick from if they want to just grab-and-go. Of course, it only gives the character's name and class, so there's no idea as to what their stats might be. Those appear earlier, and there are twelve for each of the four classes (seven, including the races). So, you might decide that you want to play a cleric, and Wilberd the Silent looks like a name you would want. The DM then looks up Wilberd's stats on his list, and there you go. Wilberd actually has decent stats, by the way. These lists can also be used for hirelings and henchmen, if the party decides to hire them. So, there's lots of great advice for beginners on both sides of the DM's screen.

The main feature of this module, though, is that the monsters and treasure aren't placed; that's for the DM to do. Each room is given a description (and occasionally a very small treasure, like a comb worth 1 gold piece or a coin in a drawer), but no inhabitants. Instead, there is a list of monsters in the back that the DM can choose from. And he is expected to put no more than 16 to 20 of them in the module, leaving some out altogether. Bear in mind, there are 56 rooms (or caverns) in this module, so only about a third of them will have any monsters to fight. This leaves plenty of stuff to explore without having o fight for your life.

The treasures are also listed in the back, ranging from as small as 20 silver pieces all the way up to magical weapons and armor. There are 34 of them, but only about 20 should be placed in the module. And the DM has free reign to put anything, monster or treasure, anywhere he wants in the complex. And while the rooms don't come with monsters and treasure, there are some classic and memorable rooms here for players to discover. There's the classic Pool Room, with fourteen pools of liquid, some of which are magical, some of which are deadly...and the only way to find out is to either dip your finger in or taste it. Good luck. There's also the teleporting room, the garden, and the cavern of the mystical stone, for example. All of these will test the characters in some way, and all can be customized for the DM's needs.

It's a Basic module, so it's for character levels 1-3. However, this is a true beginner module; 1st-level characters are the best choice, simply because the challenges here aren't generally going to be overwhelming. Even the toughest monsters on the list (the ochre jelly and the black widow spider) don't have to be included if the DM doesn't want to. So, even if a player has the module and reads through it, there's absolutely no way for them to know where to expect monsters and treasure, because the DM stocks it himself. And no two expeditions are going to be the same.

So, why is this #9 on my list? Aside from all of the above, as I said, it's probably the best introductory module D&D ever had. Yes, it's better than Keep on the Borderlands. This module strips the game down to its most essential form: the dungeon crawl. In a sense, it's a mini-megadungeon, with only two levels to explore. However, enterprising DMs can certainly expand it if they want to; who knows how deep Rogahn and Zelligar delved while building and expanding the Caverns of Quasqueton? This is the adventure I used to teach my son to play D&D, too. So, it deserves a place on this list for that reason alone.

My Top 10 Adventures: #10, S3 Expedition to the Barrier Peaks

I've seen a few countdown videos about people's favorite RPG adventures, and I decided it was time I did one of my own. I'm going to limit this to TSR products, so no 3rd edition adventures; those would be discussed on my other blog anyway. So, these are old-school adventures, starting with the very first D&D adventure I ever played in.

Old-school gamers are looking at this like, 'that's where you started?!' Yes, it is. When I was twelve, my parents decided I need to get a (social) life. My father heard about a Dungeons & Dragons club at the local library. Despite my lack of interest in a social life, he brought me to the library and got directions to the room where the club was meeting. Turns out it was just one small group of players, a couple of whom I knew from school; the others were much older, being in high school and clearly far more wise and experienced than I was.

So, this was in 1982. The 1st edition Dungeon Masters Guide was on the table, and old-school gamers know that there is a section in that book that talks about introducing new players to the game by giving them a separate adventure where they can learn the basics as a low-level character. This was not how I was introduced to the game. Instead, I was handed a small strip of paper that had been cut out of a book that had some arcane writing on it. I reproduce it below:

Any old-schoolers recognize that? Fortunately, they at least took the time to write out what the various numbers meant: Lvl, S, I, W, D, C, Ch, Align, AC, HP, and Move. Perfectly clear to the neophyte gamer, right? I had absolutely no clue what I was doing there. And as you might guess by the picture at the top of this post, we were in the buried spaceship underneath the Barrier Peaks. Yes, my very first experience in fantasy role-playing was in a science-fiction spaceship. I love the 80s so much.

So, what do I remember about this? Not a lot; as I said, I had no clue what we were doing. I had never seen a rulebook. I had never seen any dice that weren't six-sided. And they didn't really give me much to work with. I do remember the vegepygmies and the lasers. The library did have a copy of the old Moldvay Basic rulebook on hand, but the group (who were, as I mentioned, much older and wiser) told me that wasn't the 'real' rules. After all, they were playing Advanced D&D. Well, I was a beginner, so I borrowed the Basic book from the library and read through it in a couple of days. It was absolutely fascinating, although I didn't see any vegepygmies in there, nor did I see any laser pistols. Still, it was amazing, and set me on a life-long journey of fantastic adventure and imagination.

So, why is this module on my list? Because it was the first. And I found a copy of it in a pawn shop in Charlottetown last summer, so of course I had to get it. It's the only 1st edition product I currently own. But it is a wild ride of an adventure regardless of my own nostalgia. There's not a lot of treasure in there, certainly not in comparison with other high-level adventures of that era. In fact, there is not a single magic item within. That's not surprising, since it is a long-buried spaceship, after all. But the monsters...oh, the monsters within. Aside from the vegepygmies, this module also introduced the aurumvorax, bloodthorn, choke creeper, forester's bane, froghemoth, russet mold, brown pudding, squealer, tri-flower frond, twilight bloom, webbird, and the wolf-in-sheep's-clothing. All of these would eventually be included in the Monster Manual II. More than half of these are plant monsters, which is pretty cool. After all, when even the local flora are hostile, it's definitely a wild adventure location.

Oh, and that character up above that I had no idea how to play? He's from the G-series of modules, appearing as one of the pre-generated characters for the original tournament. And as silly as the name is, don't blame me; I just played him.

Another Painful Goodbye...

 

Yes, the puppy that's been my blog profile pic since I started is no more. Dexter sadly passed this afternoon at 5:30 local time. He's been living with our oldest boy and his girlfriend for the past couple of years, but he's still been part of our family.

He was only eight years old; cancer took him. Vet bills to treat that are simply out of our reach, and there was nothing we could do for him. He was supposed to see a vet on Tuesday, but today he was drooling blood, and Ashton took him to Charlottetown for an emergency visit. The vet said she could give him steroids, but it would only delay the inevitable for a couple of days. They made the hard decision and said goodbye.

Losing a pet sucks. Losing two within six months sucks rocks. My wife doesn't ever want to get another dog because it hurts so much to lose them. I'm looking at it from another point of view; a dog's life is full of wonderful memories, and those memories are worth the pain at the end.

I'll never forget the first time we met Dexter. It was shortly after our other dog, Harley the Shi-tzu, died; Raven was about four years old, and she missed him terribly. She would sit on the back step for hours, moping and waiting, hoping that Harley would somehow come back. Of course, that wasn't going to happen, but you can't explain that to a dog.

We started looking for another dog to hopefully cheer up Raven. We looked at a few dogs that didn't really fit what we wanted. Then, we found a little puppy who was being fostered in Chatham, and we made arrangements to have a meeting to see if he'd get along with Raven. We couldn't have imagined it would have gone as well as it did.

When Dexter showed up, he was wearing a Superman cape that trailed behind him as he ran. And he ran. Oh, did that little puppy run. As soon as he got in the backyard, he locked eyes with Raven, and the two of them took off with the worst case of the zoomies I have ever seen. I tried to take a picture of them. I tried to take three or four, actually. But they were moving so fast that by the time the shutter snapped, they were out of frame. I felt like a World War II fighter pilot trying to lead my target so I could capture the moment. But it was no use. He wore that Superman cape for a reason; he was identifying as Krypto the Super-Dog. And Raven was keeping up with him every step, her depression gone in an instant.

The next day, Dexter officially came home. He was the happiest dog in the world, as long as he wasn't left alone. He hated to be alone, barking for hours if we had to leave. So we tried to keep at least one of us home as much as possible. He became a fixture in our bed, and I mean that literally; I nicknamed him 'Wall' because despite his small size, he stretched out between us like the Great Wall of China. And there was simply no moving him.

Dexter made the move out to PEI with us, driving in the back seat of Dannielle's truck the whole way here. He adjusted very quickly, and absolutely loved the wide-open freedom of the farm. After Ashton bought his own place, he brought Dexter with him. It wasn't as wide-open as the farm, but he still had plenty of space to call his own.

We knew last year that he was sick, and that the cancer might not be benign. But he got through Christmas, and we were hoping it would stay dormant. Unfortunately, it didn't. He's struggled for the past month or so, and when my wife went to visit them yesterday he didn't even climb up on her lap, which was his favorite bed for most of his life. So, we knew it wouldn't be long. Unfortunately, we had less time than we thought.

So, once again we say goodbye to a cherished member of our family. Dexter was a fantastic dog, loyal and protective, with the fastest tail-wag I've ever seen. There's a reason dogs are called 'man's best friend', and Dexter was the platonic ideal of that sentiment. We will miss him terribly.

Goodbye, Dexter. I hope you, Raven and Harley are all playing together like the family you always were. Godspeed.

Finding the Groove

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had a few books I wanted to get written this year. Frankly, though, our business is taking off and putting enormous demands on our time, and that time sink is only going to get deeper. So, I'm going to have to consider the possibility that I might only get one or two books done this year. I'm just not sure which ones I want to get done. Should I stick with fantasy? Go back to science fiction? Maybe do some more of my steampunk superheroes? Or go back to where it all began, and write another Cameron Vail mystery?

Ideally, I want to do all of those this year. Realistically, there's just no way I can do it and get anything remotely resembling actual sleep at the same time. So, I'm going to have to pick and choose.

A mystery is actually not that difficult to write; I wrote the second one, The Missing Magnate, in eleven days while working at a full-time job. I literally wrote it in between customer service calls, completely off the top of my head. So, that's very doable.

For fantasy, I have three different series that I want to continue: The Shadowmage, for which I already have the full ideas sketched out for the second book; Meterra, my first fantasy series, for which the books are generally shorter; and the Gemswords, which has been my dream for an epic fantasy series with a bit of a twist.

Science fiction? I've only done the one book, Bard Conley's Adventures Around the Solar System. The advantage of science fiction is that I'm not limited to any particular theme; I could do another Bard Conley book, or just go in a completely different direction.

Steampunk superheroes is something I would like to keep going with; it's not a common subject, and while I'm not doing actual comic books with artwork, I can still tell the stories in a pulp style. Of course, I would be continuing in the Gilded Age, where I started off with Awakening and continuing the stories of the new breed of enhanced people (and animals).

So, any suggestions from the readers? If you've read any of my stuff, let me know what you thought, and what you'd like to see more of. If you haven't, I've got links to six of my books above to get you started. I do want to get back into the writing groove, and while I can't commit to the schedule I was hoping for, I can at least get something done and published in 2026.

Legend of the Silver Screen: Douglas Fairbanks

Douglas Fairbanks is not a name that most people today will recognize. Neither the original, nor Doug Fairbanks Jr., who followed in his father's footsteps into the movie industry as both an actor and producer. But he is easily one of the most important and most influential movie stars of all time. He was a founding member of United Artists in 1919, and the following year effectively introduced a whole new genre of movie to the audiences of America: The swashbuckling action/adventure movie, with the magnificent The Mark of Zorro. Yeah, I'm on a theme right now. Bear with me.

Fairbanks started out as a comedic actor, but that field was full of extraordinary talents such as Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. Still, Fairbanks, who debuted on screen in 1915, had an athletic prowess that made him stand out among his peers. He specialized in romantic comedies, rather than the highbrow slapstick (now there's a contradiction in terms) of Chaplin and Keaton. He met Mary Pickford, then the most popular actress on the planet, in 1917, and their long-standing affair (both were married to other people) was something of an open secret in the Hollywood scene. They eventually divorced their partners and married each other, and were considered Hollywood royalty among fans of the silver screen all over the world. In 1919, Pickford, Fairbanks, Chaplin, and director D.W. Griffith formed their own production studio, United Artists, in defiance of the studios that were monopolizing distribution and exhibitors across the nation.

By 1920, Fairbanks was one of the most popular actors in the world, and had starred in 29 pictures, most of them of a comic nature. But then he read Johnston McCulley's The Curse of Capistrano, and immediately knew he had to make that story into a movie. And so he did, with the aforementioned Mark of Zorro movie. It was such a big hit that Fairbanks immediately went to work on other adventure-costume movies such as The Three Musketeers (1921), Robin Hood (1922), The Thief of Baghdad (1924), The Black Pirate (1926 and the first color swashbuckling movie), The Gaucho (1927), and The Iron Mask (1929). These were all silent movies; Fairbanks didn't do as well with audiences when talkies came along, and his health was declining at the same time; his athleticism wasn't what it used to be. By 1934, he was retired from movies altogether, and passed away in 1939 at the age of 56.

Fairbanks' legacy is monumental. He was the first president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (the guys who hand out the Oscars), the first (along with Pickford) to put hand and footprints into the wet cement in front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre, the first to receive a posthumous Honorary Oscar in 1939. And of course, he was the blueprint for stars like Errol Flynn and Tyrone Power, who would both reprise roles made famous by Fairbanks (Robin Hood and Zorro, respectively).

So, when you watch an action movie, especially one with acrobatics and swordplay, take a moment to remember the man who started it all just over a century ago. And maybe check out his body of work; most of it is in the public domain now, even in the United States. All the movies I listed above are in that category, so you can see them for free online.

Not a Good Week...

My apologies for the lack of posting the last few days. As you can see, things weren't exactly great. Thursday saw a very narrow escape from what could have been much, much worse. Trying to avoid a snowplow on the road, I stupidly hit the brakes and the car slid off the road, missing the guardrail by maybe three inches, going into a gully and hitting a sign and a tree. Had we gone over the guardrail, it's very likely the car would have flipped over into the gully, and the snow was waist-deep. It's only by the grace of God that things weren't worse. The tow truck driver was able to pull it out of the gully and bring it to the farm; we were less than a mile down the road from our house when it happened, so it was an easy trip.

The insurance adjuster hasn't been by yet to look at the car, but since the front wheel is completely off and the front end is a total mess, I'd say it's pretty much a guaranteed write-off. We'll see what happens.

So, I'll get back to posting properly soon enough; I'm still a bit shaken up by the experience since Garrett, our youngest and autistic child, was in the back seat. He's been complaining about his wrist, so we're going to get him to the doctor's office on Monday to get him checked out. It doesn't look broken or sprained, but we'll find out Monday.

The Curse of Capistrano (1919)

Well, why not? I mean, I just reviewed a fantastic movie that spins off from this story; now it's time to look back at the original Zorro story, The Curse of Capistrano by Johnston McCulley. It's set in the early 19th century in California, about a hundred years before the writing. So it would be like someone today writing a book set in the early 20th century. It doesn't seem all that long ago when you think about it. McCulley's grandparents might have been living at the time the story is set.

Anyway, The Curse of Capistrano first appeared as a serialized novel in All-Story Weekly, from August 9th to September 6th, 1919. It was an instant hit, and made even more popular when one of Hollywood's biggest stars, Douglas Fairbanks Sr., adapted the story into the movie The Mask of Zorro, which was released in 1920 and became the template for the action-adventure genre of movies.

The movie is a close retelling of the original story, much more than later adaptations would be. And while much of the story would seem cliché to modern readers, back a century ago those clichés were just getting started. McCulley weaves a skillful tale of what appears to be two separate men: Don Diego Vega (the de la Vega comes many years later), a foppish Spanish nobleman who has the energy of a wilted flower and the drive of a broken-down Pinto, and the dashing masked swordsman, Zorro, whose skill and daring enthrall the countryside even as the government hunts him down. It isn't until the very end of the book that the truth is revealed, that Zorro and Vega are the same man. Shocking, I know. But back then, this was not a common trope. So readers of the time would likely have been at least somewhat surprised, if not shocked at the revelation.

Of course, moviegoers since the original 1920 release knew early on who was behind the mask of Zorro; they just had to recognize the actor, if they didn't already know the story. But McCulley takes pains to ensure that secret is closely kept as long as possible. And it works. Even knowing the truth, the distinction between the two personas is crystal clear, and it's impossible to imagine that the lackadaisical de la Vega could possibly be the sinister man of mystery.

So, what's the story? Well, you know it well enough already. Zorro is going through the California countryside terrorizing government officials who are themselves terrorizing the peasantry of the territory (this is set decades before California becomes a state; in fact, it isn't even American territory yet). The plot is quite lengthy, so I won't quote it, but you can read it here if you don't want to read the actual story. But it's a really good story, so you really should read that instead. Or, if you prefer audiobooks, that's available for free as well.

So, if you want to read or hear one of the stories that inspired the Batman himself, check it out. And yes, Zorro was so influential that Bruce Wayne's parents canonically took him to see The Mask of Zorro the night they were killed. Even the Golden Age Batman (who watched the 1920 version).

The Mask of Zorro (1998)

 

I can't believe I haven't reviewed this movie before. It's still one of my favorites. It's got action, adventure, humor, romance...really, it's very nearly a perfect movie. It never takes itself too seriously, but it never becomes a farce, either. The fact that it's got a measly 6.8/10 rating on IMDB shows that site is not to be taken seriously. Rotten Tomatoes is at 86%, which is better, but still short of the mark.

Here's the plot summary, via Wikipedia:

In 1821, masked swordsman Zorro defends the commoners of Alta California from Spanish oppression. Corrupt governor Don Rafael Montero sets a trap for Zorro at the public execution of three peasants. Zorro stops the execution, and Montero's soldiers are defeated by two young brothers, Alejandro and Joaquín Murrieta. Zorro fights the remaining soldiers and thanks the brothers by giving Joaquín a medallion. Montero deduces Spanish-born nobleman Don Diego de la Vega is Zorro and attempts to arrest him at his home. A swordfight and then a fire breaks out, and de la Vega's wife Esperanza, whom Montero covets, is murdered in the process. While the building burns, Montero takes de la Vega's infant daughter, Elena, as his own before imprisoning de la Vega and returning to Spain.

In 1841, Alejandro and Joaquín are bandits and conmen trying to steal a strongbox. They, however, fail and are caught by Captain Harrison Love, employed by Montero's company. Alejandro escapes, but a wounded Joaquín commits suicide. Meanwhile, Montero returns to California with the now adult Elena. Because of Montero, Elena believes her mother died in childbirth. Montero's reappearance motivates de la Vega to escape captivity. He encounters a drunk Alejandro and recognizes the medallion he gave his brother. He agrees to make Alejandro his protégé in order for them to take revenge on their respective enemies, Montero and Love. Alejandro agrees to undergo de la Vega's intense training in Zorro's secret lair underneath the ruins of his family estate, in hopes of being named his successor.

While still being trained, Alejandro steals a stallion resembling Zorro's steed Tornado from the local garrison, masked like "Zorro" and barely escaping. De la Vega scolds Alejandro, asserting that Zorro was a servant of the people, not a thief. He challenges Alejandro to gain Montero's trust instead. Alejandro poses as visiting nobleman Don Alejandro del Castillo y García, with de la Vega as his servant Bernardo, and attends a party at Montero's hacienda. There, he earns Elena's admiration and enough of Montero's trust to be invited to a secret meeting between noblemen. Montero hints at a plan to overthrow Mexican rule in California and proclaim it as an independent republic by buying it from Santa Anna, who needs money for the upcoming Mexican–American War.

Montero takes Alejandro and the noblemen to a secret gold mine where peasants and prisoners are used for slave labor. He plans to buy California from Santa Anna using gold mined from his own land. While walking in a market, Elena meets the woman who was her nanny. She tells Elena her parents' real identity. De la Vega sends Alejandro, now Zorro, to steal Montero's map leading to the gold mine. Zorro duels Montero, Love, and their guards at the hacienda. When he escapes, Elena chases him, attempting to retrieve Montero's map. After a sword duel, Zorro kisses her and flees.

Fearing Santa Anna's retribution, Montero decides to destroy the mine and kill the workers to leave no witnesses. De la Vega tells Alejandro to release the workers on his own so he can reclaim Elena. Alejandro sets off, feeling betrayed by de la Vega's vendetta. De la Vega corners Montero at the hacienda and reveals his identity, before Montero captures him. While being taken away, de la Vega tells Elena the name of the flowers she recognized upon her arrival in California, convincing her that he is her father. She releases de la Vega from his cell. They proceed to the mine, where Alejandro and de la Vega duel and slay Love and Montero respectively, avenging Joaquin and Esperanza. Elena and Alejandro free the workers before the explosives go off and find the mortally wounded de la Vega. Before dying, he makes peace with the pair and gives his blessings for Alejandro to continue as Zorro and be with Elena. Sometime later, Alejandro and Elena are married with an infant son "Joaquín", whom Alejandro names after his brother and tells of the deeds of Zorro.

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Ah, memories. The summary doesn't really do the movie justice. I've read the original Zorro book (The Curse of Capistrano), which I will have to do a review on. This is not connected to that book at all; the Zorro story has been told and retold and remade so many times that this is more of a sequel to the 1940 Mark of Zorro movie, or possibly the Disney TV show (since Zorro isn't publicly unmasked in this movie). We'll just chalk it up to a new setting entirely.

The set pieces in this movie are wonderful. The opening scene where Zorro I pulls off his final rescue is swashbuckling in all its glory. The finale is just as exciting, but for me the most exciting scene and the one I watch over and over is Alejandro's first true appearance as Zorro, when he infiltrates Montero's hacienda and steals the map to the mines. That whole scene is just brilliant in every possible way. The sword fighting is beautiful, the choreography is exquisite, and the denouement where Zorro has to fight Elena in the stable is the cheeky cherry on top of the beautiful sundae. The stunts and practical effects are top-notch as well, and there isn't any CGI to distract from the story.

You can tell that the entire cast was having an absolute blast in this movie, even the bad guys. There is some scenery chewing here and there, but that's to be expected in a movie like this one. Banderas is Zorro like no one ever has been before him. For one, he's actually Spanish; none of the previous Zorros on film were Latinos of any sort (except the one who played the character in a Spanish movie from 1953). Douglas Fairbanks, Tyrone Power, Guy Williams, Duncan Regehr...even George Hamilton played the character in a comedic movie. For that matter, Anthony Hopkins plays Zorro in this movie, and he's definitely not a Spaniard. Nor does he even bother with a real Spanish accent; neither does Stuart Wilson as Montero. They are both English to their core. And Catherine Zeta-Jones is Welsh, but she was absolutely stunning as Elena. It wasn't her first movie, but it was her breakout role.

This movie is one of those movies that can be rewatched over and over without losing its shine. I've stopped counting how many times I've seen it. I highly recommend it to everyone; it's family-friendly, and even the stable fight never descends to gratuitous sexualization. It's a movie that you can sit back, relax, and just enjoy the ride.

Getting Back Into the Swing...

It's been a while since I published a new book. It's been a while since I wrote a new book, too. And it's time to correct that. I'm feeling the writing itch again, and I want to get a few books written this year. I can think of four off the top of my head that I need to get done by the end of the year, maybe five. But jumping right in isn't feasible when you're busy in a bakery, so let's get something small in to get the juices flowing again, shall we?

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GRAND CENTRAL STATION

“Grand Central Station!” came the announcement over the loudspeaker system. “This train route ends at this station. Please disembark quietly, and enjoy your stay.”

I grabbed my laptop case as I waited for the rest of the crowd to slowly make their way to the platform. The porter was polite, but bored; there are only so many times you can say ‘thank you’ and ‘have a nice day’ before it becomes monotonous.

When I finally got to the platform, I saw a pile of suitcases being unloaded from the back of the car. I waited in line with the rest of the travelers until I finally saw my suitcase join the pile. I showed my ID to the porter, who nodded and let me relieve him of the burden of watching over my property.

I remember being excited as I left the platform to join the throng of people in the streets. I saw a fleet of cabs taking on passengers, and I thought that hurrying to the street might give me a better chance to catch my own. I looked at my watch as I dragged my suitcase to the end of the line; I had half an hour to make it to my appointment.

I was in luck! There was a cab still available at the intersection, and no one else around to grab it. I quickened my pace; there were other people coming up behind me, and I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity.

Then I heard a tremendous roar that sounded like a hundred airplanes at once. Whirling around, my blood congealed as I saw a huge dragon land in the middle of the cross street. Cars blared their horns and tried to turn around to get away from the monster, but it ignored them all, focusing instead on an armored figure astride a horse on the other side of the intersection.

“Hey, there’s another one,” said a man behind me, a businessman in a three-piece suit.

“Wonder if he’ll do any better than the last guy,” replied the guy next to him. He wore workman’s clothes, a belt of tools around his waist.

The dragon roared again, and the knight lowered his lance and charged as pedestrians and cyclists hurried out of the way. The knight crossed the intersection, aiming the lance right at the dragon’s heart.

Before he could drive the shiny point into the dragon’s breast, it took a deep breath and spewed out a volcano’s worth of fire, smoke and ash, engulfing the knight. When the smoke cleared, the horse and rider were black and charred like a Chicago-style steak. A moment later, the dragon spread its wings and took off, flying between the city buildings.

“Guess not,” said the first man.

“You’d t’ink they’d know better by now,” remarked his companion. “It’s always the same thing with them guys; charge right in, get roasted. You catch the game last night?”

I turned to them. “What’s wrong with you people?” I demanded. “You act like this happens all the time! That was a freaking dragon! Doesn’t that freak you the hell out?!”

The two men looked at each other, amused. “Tourist,” observed the businessman as he got in the cab I had been aiming for.

The workman just turned back to me, grinning. “Welcome to New York City, pal.”

Worst Bad Day Ever...

Just a quick little something I wrote a while ago.

********************

As he let go of the hissing snake he had thought was a vine, Todd reflected that after surviving the mudslide, escaping the quicksand, frantically fleeing through the jungle from a native tribe that belonged in a Tarzan movie, narrowly avoiding the slavering jaws of the hungry tiger, and riding the rockslide that had somehow managed to not kill him while dropping him into a watery moat surrounding an ancient ruined city, he not only had ruined his expensive clothes and shoes while climbing out of the muddy water, but he had also lost his passport and camera to the many dangers that had plagued him since arriving in the jungle, and now that he found himself falling out of the tree and over a waterfall that plunged a few hundred feet into a canyon below, he quickly pulled out his cell phone, speed-dialed his mother, and just as he was saying, “Mom, you’re not going to believe the day I’ve had,” he lost the signal as the phone’s battery died, and as the reeking sweat under his armpits reminded him that he had used a very poor anti-perspirant, his final thought before hitting the water was that he was going to give Adventure Tours the worst review in TripAdvisor’s history when he got home.