Debating Without Fighting

Those who are familiar with my Disqus posts across various blogs and news sites will know that I have rather strong opinions, and I can dish it out as well as take it when it comes to the occasional internet debate. I'm sure we have all seen at least one of these, where two opposing viewpoints cross, broadsides are launched willy-nilly, and the damage isn't even assessed until either one of them is sunk or, as is more often the case, when they drift away from each other long after anyone else has stopped paying attention.

Yeah, I've done that a few times. But it doesn't always have to be like that.

This morning, I called up a friend I've only seen a couple of times since Corona-mania swept the globe and we all crawled into our holes under government orders. It's frustrating, even for someone like me who doesn't have lots of friends, when you can't see the people you care about other than your immediate family. Not that I don't love my family; I wouldn't still be here if I didn't. But unless you're living out in the howling wilderness like Laura Ingalls family, interaction with other people is an important part of your daily life.

Anyway, I was just calling to catch up and see how his life was going; he's remodeling his house, because what else is he going to do now, right? So, we chatted for a while, and I'll be heading to his place tomorrow to help out. That's what friends do, social distancing or not.

A bit later in the conversation, he brought up a topic that I wasn't expecting: Evolution. See, my friend's a self-avowed atheist (he's more of an agnostic, not a hardcore 'flying spaghetti monster' atheist), and I'm a hardcore Roman Catholic of the old school, with all the traditionalist beliefs that entails.

I actually typed 'entrails' there at first. That's a whole different form of religion, one which my buddy and I are in full agreement on, that those people are wacko. Now, back to our regularly-scheduled blog post.

So, I wasn't planning to have this discussion, but I'm always game, and we have the advantage that we both know each other, and we don't fall into the 'you're an idiot' style of arguing that is all the rage today. And I use the word 'rage' deliberately; who hasn't had that kind of encounter online? If you haven't, you obviously haven't had internet access for the past decade, so how are you reading this post in the first place?

No, my friend and I debated the issue on the fly, without resorting to name-calling or personal attacks, because we value our friendship more than just being right about our beliefs. Which is good, because he's going to be heartbroken when he realizes he's totally wrong.

While I haven't had formal training in logic and fallacy, I know enough to avoid the obvious pitfalls, and he certainly has wide experience and training in both. So, we can sidestep the silliness and get to the point, which we did. Instead of screaming at each other at cross-purposes, we take good-natured pokes at each other, never in malice, and we present our points with what evidence we can scrape up on the spot. It was a lot of fun, actually, and I'm looking forward to continuing it in person.

My friend also has chef training, which segues into my third Cameron Vail murder mystery, Best Served Cold, now available on Amazon. my buddy was kind enough to read some of it and give me some tips and pointers on how the restaurant business works, so if it makes no sense, blame him.